


"I'm Okay."

by FaeMytho



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Emotional Hurt, Gen, basically adrien has a lot of things going on and cries about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeMytho/pseuds/FaeMytho
Summary: Adrien has nightmares about being infected with an akuma, but he has to wonder if they're really nightmares.After all, what was so wrong with letting the world know how much he was hurting?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Sabine Cheng
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	"I'm Okay."

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InanSanders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InanSanders/gifts).



> hey yall! a big lovely thank you to **[inansanders](https://inan-sanders.tumblr.com/)** for donating to **[(help keep me off the streets)](https://faemytho.tumblr.com/post/632690477159907328/faemytho-hey-guys-so-its-happening-my)**!
> 
> this fic was a lot of fun to write! hope it lives up to your expectations ♥️

It was mesmerizing how brightly the toxic purple glowed in the dark. Neon purple, surrounded by the black, gentle scaled wings of an akuma. But the shock of fear that struck its way through him wasn't caused by the corrupted butterfly.

The tight coil in his chest that made it so hard to breathe was caused by none other than his desire to give in to the butterfly. And why shouldn't he? It would feel good to let go, to break open the bottles he had stored all his feelings and pain and stress into.

So why did he feel so afraid of it? What was so wrong with letting the world know how much he was hurting?

Bright green eyes shot open, and Adrien woke with a gasp, sitting straight up in bed. Shadows curled around the moonlight flowing through his windows, but there was no butterfly in sight. He raised a trembling hand to his chest, taking deep breaths, his heart pounding in his throat. It had only been a nightmare. It was just a nightmare.

"Adrien?" A grouchy, tired rasp reached him, and he looked down at the little black cat deity of misfortune by his pillows. Relief washed over him, and he shoved the remaining tendrils of fear he felt to the back of his mind.

"Sorry Plagg," Adrien spoke, just above a whisper. "Just a nightmare. I'm okay."

The black cat kwami gave him a grumble and promptly rolled over. Adrien lay back down, staring up at the ceiling, and tried to forget his nightmare.

He hadn't been able to get back to sleep. Sometimes, he hated being the holder of bad luck.

* * *

"I was fine, Chat," Ladybug sighed, and though Adrien knew she was trying to be civil and that she was just tired from the long akuma battle, the criticism stung.

"I know," he answered, the happiness he usually felt by being around Ladybug beginning to shatter. He tried to keep the hitch out of his voice. "You always are. Just wanted to help, m'lady."

Ladybug sighed that tired sigh she always did whenever she was frustrated with Chat, and Adrien felt his heart sink. "I'll let you know when I need help, okay Chat? Next time, focus on the battle. It'd help a lot more if you actually paid attention. I don't need you looking after me."

This wasn't new behavior from Ladybug; it was actually quite common. But even though he'd been rejected and reprimanded by her before, it still stung as freshly as it did the first time.

Adrien watched her swing away, then turned to look at the setting sun. Exhaustion swept over him, both from the battle and from the fact that he had to go home. Not for the first time, he wondered why he stayed. Both a superhero, and in Paris.

* * *

"A-Adrien? Are you okay?" Marinette's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked up, the world swimming around him.

Usually, Adrien went home for lunch. But today, Nino had managed to convince his father to let him go out to eat with him, Alya, and her friend Marinette, under the strict condition that he stick to his modeling diet regimen.

He'd had another akuma nightmare the night before, and had woken up shaking and sweaty. He hadn't been able to get to sleep again, and on top of that, there had been not only one, but _two_ akuma attacks that morning. He hadn't been able to finish his meager breakfast before it was time to leave for school. Later, to his dismay, one of the akumas had caused him to miss a good portion of the physics hour; his favorite class.

"Huh? Oh, yeah 'm fine," Adrien managed to answer, feeling sick to his stomach. His vision flashed white and grey and black and grey again, and he lifted a hand to his pounding head, feeling the warmth of a chill run through him. He only dimly registered Marinette's surprised shriek as his eyes slipped closed and he slumped over sideways. And then, blessedly, there was nothing.

* * *

"… fainted, poor thing. Do you have any idea why?"

"I don't know, I just asked if he was okay, and then…"

There was a cloth ice-pack on his forehead, and he was laying on something soft. Dimly, he opened his eyes, slowly recognizing the living room of the Dupain-Cheng household. As he looked around, he definitely recognized Marinette, and a moment later, her mother, Sabine Cheng.

"Adrien, are you okay? What happened?" Marinette asked frantically, and though he knew she was asking because she cared, it was irritating. He wasn't okay. He hadn't been okay for a long time. How couldn't she see that? Why couldn't anyone see that?

"You fainted while you were out at lunch with Marinette and your friends, Adrien," Sabine stepped in, and he glanced over to her. "They brought you here, something about not wanting to tell your father. Are you feeling alright?"

"Could do with some water," Adrien managed to rasp, closing his eyes again so Marinette wouldn't start asking questions he knew she didn't want to hear the answers to.

It was silent for a moment, Marinette's mother presumably having left to go get his requested water. When he cracked open an eye to see, Marinette took that as her cue to start talking to him, and he immediately regretted it, his head pounding harder.

"I'm really glad you're okay," she said, and Adrien stuffed down his cloudy bout of irritation, every beat of his heart in his ears. She continued on, unaware of how wrong she was. "You really scared me, you know. You just fell sideways. Alya and Nino went back to school, I think Nino was going to tell them that your dad pulled you out for the day."

"… Thanks," Adrien managed to get out, hoping to whatever higher power was up there that there wouldn't be another akuma attack right now. He didn't think he'd be able to handle it. "Where's my bag?"

"Oh, it's right here." Marinette knelt down by the couch he lay on, before holding it up. "Hey, um… You are eating okay, right?"

Adrien sat up, putting the ice pack aside. He felt like he'd been hit by a truck, and moving only made it worse, but he needed to make sure Plagg was okay. He reached for his bag, and Marinette handed it over with no hesitation.

"Yes, I am," he answered after a moment, digging through his bag. Plagg was nowhere to be seen. He tried to stuff down his rising panic, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Oh. Well, okay." Marinette didn't sound convinced, and before he knew it, words were falling from his mouth, spurred on by the absolutely terrible day he was having.

"Look, it's none of your business, Marinette," Adrien snapped, and shocked bluebell eyes shot up to meet his. Among his frustration, the panic from Plagg missing, feeling horribly sick and lightheaded, missing class, ruining lunch out with his friends, and having to go home as soon as the school day was over, Adrien was tired of keeping a happy face on. "I'm fine. I don't need you looking after me."

Marinette's eyes widened, and she stood, taking a wobbly step away. A second later, she turned and left the room, but not before Adrien caught the clear shimmer of tears in her eyes.

Adrien was left alone in the living room of the Dupain-Cheng's. Though the house always felt homey to him the few times he had actually visited it, now he only felt as though he didn't belong.

He already knew why. He _didn't_ belong.

"Adrien."

He looked up, his school bag slipping from his knuckle-white grasp down to the floor in a clatter. Sabine Cheng stood there, a glass of ice water in her hand and looking for all the world like a stern, protective mother. Yet for some reason, when she looked at him, it faded away into concern.

"Adrien, honey, you're crying. What's wrong?"

His throat tightened, and he touched a hand to his cheek. It came away wet, and he stared at it. Sabine set the glass of water aside and sat down beside him, and though Sabine hardly knew him, she had already broken through every wall he put up.

"I," Adrien choked out, eyes drawn across the room. A little black butterfly with toxic purple veins wriggled its way through the window panes, and he stared at it.

"Adrien?"

**Author's Note:**

> :3
> 
> -
> 
> if you donate to my paypal/ko-fi and contact me on tumblr with proof of donation, ill create something for you!
> 
> (paypal - reward fic)
> 
> (ko-fi - reward moodboard)
> 
> ****  
> [here's a carrd with more information on my situation at home, offered rewards for donating to help, and how to claim those rewards!](https://helpmae.carrd.co/)  
>  (live as of oct 22nd, 2020)
> 
> ((Please note that I cannot directly link to my Ko-Fi or my PayPal on AO3 dur to AO3's TOS. Please see see the carrd above for links!))


End file.
